Most people know what a party animal I am... YEAH RIGHT! I recently had some child-free time to myself and you won't believe what kind of madcap adventures ensued...
I was in complete disbelief, looking at my calendar last week. Was it true? Could it be?! I was going to have a full three days of an empty house to myself?!! GET OUT OF HERE! My boyfriend went to the Midwest for some work and it was my daughter's and nanny's turn to go over to my ex's house. For the first time in I-don't-know-when, I was going to be alone in my own house! Just the dog and me. Immediately, I started making plans:
• Change the tv channel to something other than Noggin and PBS
• Watch a DVD that is not "Free To Be You And Me" or "Elmo's Potty Time"
• Sleep in the middle of the bed with all of the covers to myself
• Spend quality time with the dog before she kills me in my sleep
• Work out
• Read an entire magazine on the toilet with the bathroom door open. Wide open.
• Take long showers (eco system be damned)
• Catch up on writing
• Party with my childless, single friends at night
• Sleep in late in the mornings.
I had a LOT of plans for the weekend! Wednesday night, the man headed down to LAX and Thursday afternoon, the baby and nanny rolled out to daddy's house. Let the craziness begin! My motto was, "What happens in Sherman Oaks, stays in Sherman Oaks!" WOO-HOO!
Except nothing really happened. Well, some of it happened, but not nearly with the gusto I had fantasized about. While I did manage to get out for a few meals with friends and drinks a couple times, I amazed myself at how absolutely lame I was all by myself:
• Friday Morning: My first opportunity to sleep in was squelched by my boyfriend's alarm which didn't get turned off from the morning before. It went off at 6am and there I was... awake.
• Friday Night: performed stand up set at Hollywood Improv and ended up going to a karaoke bar with a comedian friend and his neighbors. I had one beer, didn't sing a song and was yawning the whole time. Was home by midnight. Checked emails and went to bed.
• Saturday Morning: Remembered to turn off alarm, but woke up at 7am, on the dot, out of habit. This is when my 2 yr old gets up. DAMN! I was up!
• Saturday Day: Paid bills, went to post office, did two loads of laundry
• Saturday Night: Had a friend over for a beer and dip in the pool then off to meet more friends for overpriced drinks. This was the big night!
• Sunday Morning: Slept all the way until 8:30am!! This is big people! Then felt nostalgic for the days when 8:30 used to be early and I could sleep until 10 or 11 with no problem. Sigh.
• Sunday Day: Folded and put away laundry, dusted, vacuumed, did paper/busy work
I don't really think I need to detail any more of this exciting weekend. You get the idea - I was lame!! Had I forgotten how to have fun? Do I not know how to party anymore? Apparently, I just live to do laundry and pay bills and the funny thing is, I'm ok with that.
I'm very lucky that I have a career that is my life's passion. I'm a comedian and I get to hang out in clubs and colleges and bars all over the country and get paid to make people laugh. I'm surrounded by interesting and talented people and I get to express myself freely, on a regular basis. It's pretty sweet. At the end of the day though, I don't mind being a homebody and I think it's what keeps me sane in this totally insane industry.
Becoming a mom in this industry has been beyond challenging. Comedy is heavily male dominated and a life on the road doesn't really lend itself easily to breast feeding and bath times. As a female comedian, I have been asked these two questions, repeatedly, since having my daughter:
1) So you're not really doing comedy anymore then, are you?
2) Oh you are? So, I guess you just take the baby on the road with you then, huh?
I guarantee you, no male comedian who has fathered a child has been asked these questions. Especially #2. I won't lie. Being a traveling comedian, single-mom of a pre-school aged child is a crazy juggling act I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, but I wouldn't have it any other way. It's my calling but it's also my job and like any single mom (or dad) or any parent who works, it is what I do for my child and myself. Furthermore, I'm so grateful to have work in this economy.
So I embrace my lame-o homebody status when I'm at home. Even when it's just me. I don't mind coming home from a club and folding little tiny clothes and washing sippy cups. Somehow, it's all getting done and while I can't say I like the night life and I like to boogie, I can say that I DO like my life.